Expectations of Summer

Summer. Summer is definitely my favorite and, paradoxically, most disdained time of year. Every winter I long for its coming, can feel it pulling itself up and over the horizon, teasing me to come along and romp with it along the beaches and lie with it on floats in a swimming pool. And when it comes every April, summer laughs at me, its hot breath suffocating me, drenching me in sweat...

And, yet again, I feel that this summer will be another of hot, sticky days, kinds of days where underwear sticks to all the crevices and divots you never knew your skin had, days where the heat exhausts you and you pass out in a lawn chair only to wake up with scorched skin.  O.K. Maybe a little dramatic, but it happens...

But this summer will be different in one, glaring way - I will be graduating. Finally, I will be done with higher learning in regards to how it is an institution that promotes learning what everyone else deems is the truth. Finally, with exorbitant anticipation, I will be able to afford the time to study what I want to study, what I want to jam into my cranium, what I want to pursue. 

I guess, maybe, at this point, I have some vendetta against organized education...I don't really have a reason. It's just a feeling I hold right now and a feeling I'll have to discard to pursue my MFA in writing - but there [at Goddard, Iowa, etc.] everything is more focused on the you, what the individual really wants to learn.

That's always been my problem - taking orders. And in the spirit of summer, by hook or by crook, I can't wait to completely and utterly embrace the learning and life that is right for me [music, writing, video games]. 

Oh, and that's not to say I'm not completely horrified by the notion that I am, now, officially an adult and part of the overall framework of the world. I mean that I am horrified by the notion of becoming self-sustainable, becoming superbly responsible for myself and those in my life, becoming, to quote the Burbs', the guy "up at the crack of dawn watching a dog poop." I say this because I see myself, still, as a big kid...but alot of the time, don't we all...don't wee al think that, want that to be true?

So, I guess instead of writing about summer, I found I really needed to rant about education and my future life - I needed to practice stream of consciousness writing for a change...just write uninhibited...throw caution to the wind...and, in a strange elopement, take summer in hand and absorb its laid back mentality as I enjoy it for the last time before adulthood.